It is never anything but disturbing to spy vermin in one's abode; it feels like an intrusion, shaves a bit of the comfort off of one's comfort zone. Sometimes, makes one's skin crawl, awakens the heebie-jeebies. Ugh! i just had an unfortunate run-in with the largest cockroach I've seen in years, save those night crawler types that you see on the street in this town. And he was lying on his back, legs akimbo, only a few inches from my stove. Bleeaarghh!
This damn bug is no less than 1.75" long of body , with another 2 or 3" of antennae. As I cautiously approached with a flat of cardboard (mistakenly presuming him to be not only prone, but also dead), the bugger's limbs started to twitch and flail (more garbled sounds of disgust from me).
Now, on a quick side note, I have two heavy boxes of mis-printed matter sitting on my kitchen table; 1000 brochures doomed only to be recycled, as I wait for the correctly-printed brochures to be sent. Their presence causes some dismay at the sheer wastefulness, and at poor service on the part of the printers (in this instance) they represent. But! getting back to the uninvited guest causing me even more dismay...
I quickly realized what I must do. I grabbed one of the boxes and swiftly dropped it on top of the wretched thing, hopefully ending its struggle, and most assuredly easing my mind that this land-lubbing crustacean would have no further explorations in my kitchen. (Though I suspected that a beast of that size might come in handy to carry out the recycling, if only it were trainable, surely it wouldn't be able to lift 8 pounds of paper off its buggy abdomen...)
Eventually, I will have to remove the box and clean up whatever carnage is beneath it. (Yet more sounds of disgust emanate). On a more positive note, however, I finally found a use for those damn brochures.
05 June 2007
30 May 2007
Impromptu projects
Kim came over to drop off the menu prints for Bonnie's last evening, and we wound up having a very spur of the moment art night: we got out all sorts of paper, glue, paint, you name it. Then we chose a book from the shelf (Jane Jacobs: The Death and Life of Great American Cities), chose a line of text at random; a passage regarding "Destruction", which became out point of departure,. We set a clock for about 90 minutes of time, and made some art! Below is a (rather poor) photo of the results!
two collages: mine (left) and Kim's (right)
It was really great; a reminder of how exciting process can be, and that so many ideas come not by thinking so much as by being in it. And of course, as Bob Ross taught us, "happy accidents".
two collages: mine (left) and Kim's (right)
It was really great; a reminder of how exciting process can be, and that so many ideas come not by thinking so much as by being in it. And of course, as Bob Ross taught us, "happy accidents".
29 May 2007
another dream of war
Last night: dreams of ruthlessness in war; ancient; a battle in which no compromise was allowed and a perfectionist general lost his every soldier in an ever-widening stain which turned the ground sour and nauseating. When it was finished, he still stood, but broken and stripped of his humanity. His actions had contradicted the very ideals which had set him on his path, and he wept. Not for himself, but for the landscape of carnage; for all who had been lost on his orders, by his hubris. For the taint and the tarnish on ideals that could not be restored to bright and shining. He didn't move. In the end, all of his decisions proved senseless; the weight of emptiness all around him rooted him to the soil, still hemorrhaging slow pools of regret.
The dream woke me and it was still dead of night (and I am rarely wakened by dreams, even the nightmare kind). This one, though- the vantage point was abstract- I was learning this battle as history, yet it spread before my eyes like a living diorama in the dream, and I could smell the sourness and it hurt, and the general, who was representative of some Roman written as glorious, lost his mythological status. It felt like the stain had continued to spread right up through centuries, and I lost something as well, like the way fairy tales set you up for a fall, which is Life, and you realize in the most visceral way that death in war is always ignoble for the mere fact that it is avoidable-- the way of avoidance simply has yet to be soundly threaded from abstraction, as there's no budget for it; no economic motive.
The dream woke me and it was still dead of night (and I am rarely wakened by dreams, even the nightmare kind). This one, though- the vantage point was abstract- I was learning this battle as history, yet it spread before my eyes like a living diorama in the dream, and I could smell the sourness and it hurt, and the general, who was representative of some Roman written as glorious, lost his mythological status. It felt like the stain had continued to spread right up through centuries, and I lost something as well, like the way fairy tales set you up for a fall, which is Life, and you realize in the most visceral way that death in war is always ignoble for the mere fact that it is avoidable-- the way of avoidance simply has yet to be soundly threaded from abstraction, as there's no budget for it; no economic motive.
21 May 2007
Time.
It has been a swift spring, with tumultuous weather to match the tumults of Time; of Getting Older; of Uncertainty, Questions Needing Answers, and of Procrastination; of Plans waiting to become Plans of Action.
Well, something like that, anyway.
Yes, it's all true. Each passing year passes faster than the last. Time is patient and cunning. Time may be infinite in the abstract, but is doled out in indeterminate, finite chunks, and it can get scary if you think about it too much. It's one thing to know this as a theory, to be aware of in some vague way. But there comes a time when it begins to have weight, where one actually begins to believe it.
Okay, back to work for now. Perhaps I will revisit this at another time...
Well, something like that, anyway.
Yes, it's all true. Each passing year passes faster than the last. Time is patient and cunning. Time may be infinite in the abstract, but is doled out in indeterminate, finite chunks, and it can get scary if you think about it too much. It's one thing to know this as a theory, to be aware of in some vague way. But there comes a time when it begins to have weight, where one actually begins to believe it.
Okay, back to work for now. Perhaps I will revisit this at another time...
13 April 2007
02 April 2007
wandering lost
I feel utterly uninspired; that is, I have no ideas. No idea what to create- that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I fear that all these many years of designing in front of this screen-- of having got used to working on projects for which there was a purpose, something specific to communicate-- have rendered me crippled as an artist.
Wow. That sounds very dramatic.
I am accustomed to knowing what needs to be done, then doing it. And having deadlines, set by others. In short, I've grown accustomed to creating for others' purposes. Now, when I find myself desiring so much to creeate an image for the joy of creating an image, I feel utterly at a loss. I wish to apply discipline to this matter, but there's that feeling that ART isn't something I should have to push myself to do-- a misconception, I realize, but still.
It is driving me mental.
The good news is, eventually it will break. Or I will-- either way the funk will end.
My plan is to end it on my terms.
Wow. That sounds very dramatic.
I am accustomed to knowing what needs to be done, then doing it. And having deadlines, set by others. In short, I've grown accustomed to creating for others' purposes. Now, when I find myself desiring so much to creeate an image for the joy of creating an image, I feel utterly at a loss. I wish to apply discipline to this matter, but there's that feeling that ART isn't something I should have to push myself to do-- a misconception, I realize, but still.
It is driving me mental.
The good news is, eventually it will break. Or I will-- either way the funk will end.
My plan is to end it on my terms.
16 March 2007
at the edge of dusk
It's dark in the apartment right now. Had to turn on lights. It feels like doom, this hour of a winter day, when outside the sky appears bright but none of its quality seems able to leak through the panes, rendering rooms full of too many shadows. It feels too early for all this incandescent, but there you have it; light bulbs or slinking doom darkness draped from walls and hiding behind chairs.
Winter returned overnight; a slushy icing and wet stinging pellets with the wind. It'll be an indoors kind of weekend in the city. A beer and hot yoga and painting kind of weekend.
Winter returned overnight; a slushy icing and wet stinging pellets with the wind. It'll be an indoors kind of weekend in the city. A beer and hot yoga and painting kind of weekend.
12 March 2007
sweat! sun! wait!
SWEAT!
Bikram Yoga: also known as "hot" yoga. 90 minutes in a 100-110 degree room. 26 poses and two breathing exercises. A lot of sweating. Intense. Day two was torture. Day three was the best yet. I think they'll continually get better. Ideal is to go at least three times a week, but as Tara Lynne and I are also looking into some form of martial arts practice, I may stick with twice a week. It's pretty amazing and afte only three sessions I feel much better. A great way to start the day.
SUN!
Today when I left the yoga center the sun was shining and it was in the fifties outside- great! I'm sure there is more snow and wind in store for New York before the spring is settled in but it's so great to have days with the window open and where going outisde doesn't require adding so many layers.
WAIT!
One of the most frustrating things about working as a freelancer is the waiting to get paid for fuck's sake. It makes me cringe. I am responsible! I am an on-time payer of my own bills! But someties this becomes almost impossible due to the tardiness of checks!! Aighh! Well, I suppose the goal is to have more than enough in savings to cover. One day, I'm sure. Meantime, I just needed to vent.
Bikram Yoga: also known as "hot" yoga. 90 minutes in a 100-110 degree room. 26 poses and two breathing exercises. A lot of sweating. Intense. Day two was torture. Day three was the best yet. I think they'll continually get better. Ideal is to go at least three times a week, but as Tara Lynne and I are also looking into some form of martial arts practice, I may stick with twice a week. It's pretty amazing and afte only three sessions I feel much better. A great way to start the day.
SUN!
Today when I left the yoga center the sun was shining and it was in the fifties outside- great! I'm sure there is more snow and wind in store for New York before the spring is settled in but it's so great to have days with the window open and where going outisde doesn't require adding so many layers.
WAIT!
One of the most frustrating things about working as a freelancer is the waiting to get paid for fuck's sake. It makes me cringe. I am responsible! I am an on-time payer of my own bills! But someties this becomes almost impossible due to the tardiness of checks!! Aighh! Well, I suppose the goal is to have more than enough in savings to cover. One day, I'm sure. Meantime, I just needed to vent.
07 March 2007
march of the tiny snow
Across the street there is a large truck labeled "AllState PowerVac". I can't imagine what it might be vac-ing right now, but it is rather loud.
Overnight a gift of snow- a meagre blanket which by now lingers only on sidewalks and places where no cars go. I missed the falling of it, having gone to sleep early (midnight-thirty?) after finally finishing up the couch-wall in the living room and then enjoying a long phone call with Beth. I have updated the group of photographs of the apartment to include the new wall (that half of the front room having been conspicuously absent til now) and shall paste a new link to the collection at the end of this post.
Work of the graphic design persuasion reamins steady and ongoing. The painting of buildings and other shapes has suffered some these past two weeks, but today looks like I have some time for that. (Time, yes, but where is the discipline?!) This week I finally cut out piece of wood to make a seat for one of the two recently rescued chairs, padded and upholstered said seat, and re-upholstered the seat of that chair's twin and fellow orphan. Those small tasks and the painting of the pattern on the wall have been plaguing me for a month at least., now finished. Tax documents have been organized, catch-up work on freelance projects is well in hand. What is there now to keep me from those canvases? I always manage to find something-- not sure why. Fear, I suppose. Painting is something I am no expert at, and it's difficult to dive into something when one's an absolute beginner once again, but I have no good excuses left now!
Okay, here's that link again:
Photos of the apartment!
Overnight a gift of snow- a meagre blanket which by now lingers only on sidewalks and places where no cars go. I missed the falling of it, having gone to sleep early (midnight-thirty?) after finally finishing up the couch-wall in the living room and then enjoying a long phone call with Beth. I have updated the group of photographs of the apartment to include the new wall (that half of the front room having been conspicuously absent til now) and shall paste a new link to the collection at the end of this post.
Work of the graphic design persuasion reamins steady and ongoing. The painting of buildings and other shapes has suffered some these past two weeks, but today looks like I have some time for that. (Time, yes, but where is the discipline?!) This week I finally cut out piece of wood to make a seat for one of the two recently rescued chairs, padded and upholstered said seat, and re-upholstered the seat of that chair's twin and fellow orphan. Those small tasks and the painting of the pattern on the wall have been plaguing me for a month at least., now finished. Tax documents have been organized, catch-up work on freelance projects is well in hand. What is there now to keep me from those canvases? I always manage to find something-- not sure why. Fear, I suppose. Painting is something I am no expert at, and it's difficult to dive into something when one's an absolute beginner once again, but I have no good excuses left now!
Okay, here's that link again:
Photos of the apartment!
26 February 2007
amsterdam.
Some notes about the trip.
part one.
Amsterdam: Always associated with debauchery such as hashish and the red light district, but those are merely two tiny aspects of this beautiful city. Streets shared almost equally by cars, bicycles, trams and peds; beautiful arched bridges over the canals every few blocks, the arches lit by rows of little white lights at night; mossy brick pavements; hand-lettered script on doors and mailboxes of private and public spaces; wires strung with streetlights which are suspended over the center of the streets; the buildings, of course! ornament windows and arms for pulleys to raise large boxes or furniture too unweildy for the steep narrow staircases built hundreds of years ago; sepia; greenery and parks everywhere- landscaped and not at all angular; cranes walking stiff-legged around ponds or landing in tall tall trees with massive nests; house boats with little roof decks and gardens at the gangplanks... The windows of many of the canal-side houses are wide and un-curtained, giving the impression that the rooms blend seamlessly with the sidewalks. What a city for wandering! Feast for the eyes.
part one.
Amsterdam: Always associated with debauchery such as hashish and the red light district, but those are merely two tiny aspects of this beautiful city. Streets shared almost equally by cars, bicycles, trams and peds; beautiful arched bridges over the canals every few blocks, the arches lit by rows of little white lights at night; mossy brick pavements; hand-lettered script on doors and mailboxes of private and public spaces; wires strung with streetlights which are suspended over the center of the streets; the buildings, of course! ornament windows and arms for pulleys to raise large boxes or furniture too unweildy for the steep narrow staircases built hundreds of years ago; sepia; greenery and parks everywhere- landscaped and not at all angular; cranes walking stiff-legged around ponds or landing in tall tall trees with massive nests; house boats with little roof decks and gardens at the gangplanks... The windows of many of the canal-side houses are wide and un-curtained, giving the impression that the rooms blend seamlessly with the sidewalks. What a city for wandering! Feast for the eyes.
21 February 2007
I forgot about it!
Basically, that's what happened. This blog, I mean-- I just forgot. Not entirely, but it lost priority. There was a move, followed by time up in Rochester with family over Xmas, followed by a 2-week jaunt in Northern Europe. Amsterdam: the Netherlands, and Berlin and Munster: Germany. A brilliant trip! Nothing negative to report, despite it being a winter trip, and Ben & I both having started the trip out with head colds!
Michele, the hard work below was as per your request; thank you! I've been meaning to upload these for months, and your email set a fire under my ass. Ha! LINKS TO PHOTOS:
See some photos from the trip!
See some photos of the new apartment!
Michele, the hard work below was as per your request; thank you! I've been meaning to upload these for months, and your email set a fire under my ass. Ha! LINKS TO PHOTOS:
See some photos from the trip!
See some photos of the new apartment!
10 December 2006
afternoons of dark
It's December already, and one-third gone to boot! The fishes and I have moved house again since last I made an entry here-- with more space for all! They've gained about 7 gallons in their flash new tank, and I have gained what will be a dedicated analogue-style art room, free of all things digital! Once the renovations are complete and the New Year has begun, the creation of new artworks shall commence.
07 November 2006
02 November 2006
in November
Here I am again; it's November, and time to find a new place to live! And, on a deadline of course, so I've not had a chance to go see any apartments this week so far.
In more disturbing news, however: A few months ago, I received one of these printed mailers informing me of my polling location for voting day. Then, about a month later, I received anothoer one- this one had an entirely different locations cited. Both of these mailers had my Name and accurate addresss on them, but with polling places at opposite ends of the neighborhood. To clarify, I went online to nyc.gov to look up the accurate location, which corresponded to NEITHER of the mailers I received (and was the closest one to where I live). Call me a consiracy theorist, but I just don't believe this was a clerical error. There are many tactics which could be useful to limit the number of voters on the upcoming extremely important November 7th. I'd say that one could be very effective if perpetrated on a large scale. Oof.
In more disturbing news, however: A few months ago, I received one of these printed mailers informing me of my polling location for voting day. Then, about a month later, I received anothoer one- this one had an entirely different locations cited. Both of these mailers had my Name and accurate addresss on them, but with polling places at opposite ends of the neighborhood. To clarify, I went online to nyc.gov to look up the accurate location, which corresponded to NEITHER of the mailers I received (and was the closest one to where I live). Call me a consiracy theorist, but I just don't believe this was a clerical error. There are many tactics which could be useful to limit the number of voters on the upcoming extremely important November 7th. I'd say that one could be very effective if perpetrated on a large scale. Oof.
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