02 April 2007

wandering lost

I feel utterly uninspired; that is, I have no ideas. No idea what to create- that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I fear that all these many years of designing in front of this screen-- of having got used to working on projects for which there was a purpose, something specific to communicate-- have rendered me crippled as an artist.
Wow. That sounds very dramatic.
I am accustomed to knowing what needs to be done, then doing it. And having deadlines, set by others. In short, I've grown accustomed to creating for others' purposes. Now, when I find myself desiring so much to creeate an image for the joy of creating an image, I feel utterly at a loss. I wish to apply discipline to this matter, but there's that feeling that ART isn't something I should have to push myself to do-- a misconception, I realize, but still.

It is driving me mental.
The good news is, eventually it will break. Or I will-- either way the funk will end.
My plan is to end it on my terms.